Oh the days…

I now realize why these day 1, day 2… day whatever the f’ are annoying me. It’s like when I used to run long distance. I’d push that extra mile because… I was on my 8 and to get to a goal of 10… I had to. You don’t want to start over. You made it this far. Eight long ass miles with only 2 more to go to say, “I did 10 miles!” and maybe next time, I’ll do 13. But non drinking days, oh, it feels different. I don’t have the same motivation. I should, but I don’t. I wonder if it’s because I haven’t hit that darn rock bottom yet. It’s not like I’m wanting or wishing for it; but I do wonder if I just need more motivation to get there. So I’m on day 0. Again. In fact, just saying that is depressing. I guess honestly I never did that when running. I still always achieved something more. What happened?